Kids and Money

This post was prompted by a facebook discussion (maybe facebook isn’t all bad!) so if you found this via the link on that facebook page and want to post comments, consider posting them both here and there, so as not to steal the discussion away from where it started.

The original question: “What is your children and money philosophy? Do you believe in wages or allowance? How about that first car.. do you buy it for them? What if you were rich.. how much is too much?”

Originally I was for a small allowance, probably called a wage, since it would be docked if chores weren’t completed on time. (But the chores would still have to be done, regardless) I also might allow kids to complete extra chores to earn more money if they wanted, provided they hadn’t slacked on their regular chores. But someone pointed out that they wouldn’t want their kid asking them how much they’d get paid every time they asked them to do an extra job, and I think that’s a great point. Now I don’t think I’d want to give any option of earning extra money for extra chores. Kids need to do what they’re told and to understand that as part of the family they have responsibilities. The same person suggested that in their experience allowances “don’t work” -- that parents don’t follow through, that kids don’t do their chores, but still expect money, etc. She doesn’t think parents should give their kids any money at all.. that kids should earn their all their money outside the home, just as they’ll have to later in life.

I agree that once kids are old enough to get a job outside the home, whether it’s a “real” job or babysitting/ mowing lawns, they should work for money if they want it. A nominal allowance given to a small child should not grow to meet the wants of a pre-teen/ teenager. But the opposing viewpoint focuses mainly on younger kids. Little kids really can’t mow lawns or baby-sit or any of the standard kid jobs, and that the neighbors shouldn’t be bombarded by kids knocking on the door looking for work every time they want money for something. And some of the people commenting on the original discussion focused on the goal of using an allowance to teach their children to tithe, budget and save. I think that’s a nice idea, but I wonder how realistic it is.

Here’s the thing - little kids don’t need money.

There just aren’t enough demands on a kid’s bank account for the concept of budgeting to sink in. A kid can save up for something he/ she wants, (I remember saving forever for a Nintendo) but when the weekly income doesn’t HAVE to pay the electric bill and the mortgage and the car insurance and buy groceries, it’s just a whole different mindset. I think you can teach a kid the theory with or without real money but they’re never going to really understand it, deep down in their gut, until they actually have a car that needs gas, and probably an apartment and bills to boot, and it becomes a lesson in being able to eat, rather than a choice between instant and delayed gratification.

I think that in the area of money management, as in most other areas of life, kids are probably going to get more out of how they see their parents behaving than out of what they hear their parents telling them.

I think that if parents manage their money well and carefully, if kids are allowed to see that their parents have a budget and are conscious of the cost of things, and that they don’t make impulsive purchases; if they can see their parents tithing, and they are aware that a certain amount of each paycheck goes into a savings account, etc. then that leading by example will be far more effective than all the “teaching” parents may do by giving the kids their own money.

I personally got an allowance (it was actually referred to as “wages”) only for a few short periods during my childhood. Most of my life I was not given a regular income by my parents. But I did watch how my mother handled the money/ budget and it had a lasting impression. I never had a budget as a kid, yet I am (if I do say so myself) a very good budgeter and saver now that I’m an adult. I don’t think that having a small allowance as a child would have hurt me in this regard, and I also doubt that I would be a better financial manager today if I’d had one. I think as long as parents are careful not to spoil their kids and to be consistent, it probably doesn’t matter whether they give their kids an allowance or not.


Cars will be tackled in another post. If you actually got through tis one, congratulations, I’m impressed.

Butterfly

We have these really pretty butterflies in our backyard, and they're not afraid of people at all. There was one on the deck this morning and he let me walk right up to him... he appeared to be eating (or trying to eat) some of the sap or juice out of the bits of hickory nuts that the squirrels are constantly dropping on the deck. Very interesting, I thought they only ate from flowers.

I just looked this guy up, he's an "Astyanax" Red-Spotted Purple:

Hard worker

Jeff spent another long day working outside in the heat. At least it cooled down a little and was only 95 this weekend :-P (compared to 102 on Wednesday and 104 both Thursday and Friday)

He chipped all the brush piles that he cut down about 2 months ago. Unfortunately 2 months in the North Carolina sun is enough to really dry out 3" and smaller branches so they took quite a bit longer to chip than if they'd been fresh.

The pile of chips in the picture is the second one that size, the first one is a bout 20' closer to the house... anybody want some free mulch?

Screens!

Woo-Hooo!!! my wonderful husband worked outside all day today in the 95 degree weather and we have SCREENS on the porch! ALL of them! Yay!! The doors (which were fitted last weekend) will go on tomorrow. I'm not taking pictures till it's all done, but expect them soon.

My Thoughts on Myspace

First there was xanga. Actually, there was probably something before xanga, but xanga was my first encounter with one of these monster websites where people can combine blogging, text messaging, and photo hosting along with a collection of links between themselves and all of their friends who are doing the same thing.

I never had a xanga, but at least one of my sisters, and quite a few other people within a few years of her age had them, and I had some fun occasionally looking through the comments they posted to each other, looking at pictures they uploaded, reading their blog entries. Then something interesting happened. Some of these kids' parents started having xanga sites. And the kids themselves were posting less and less. I realized that most of them had started something called myspaces, and were abandoning xanga for the newer and less populated network.

I have a myspace. I don't really use it. If I want to write something for more than one person to read I put it here, and for personal conversations I have e-mail, Instant messenger, and a cell phone. Who needs myspace? But it lets me look at my siblings' myspaces, and my cousins' myspaces (although sometimes that's just depressing) and if someone sends me a message there, I can read it and will usually reply. Lately it seems like everyone has a myspace, including, most recently, many of the parents of the kids who've had them for a while.
Recently I've noticed a serious downturn in Myspace activity. In fact, among the younger myspacers- the same ones who used to have xangas- that decrease in activity happened some time ago, probably a year or more, but lately it's become widespread. I knew many people were going to facebook-- from those in the know about this sort of thing, "facebook is better" is something I had heard more than once. But now practically nobody writes on their myspace anymore, and this turn of events has gone hand in hand with another one:

I also have a facebook. I actually started in a few months ago, when I was bored, and for the sole purpose of "poking" my uncle, who I had discovered also had a facebook. I didn't add any friends at the time, and after that initial "poke" I never went back until the other day. A friend of mine was invited to join by her cousin, and implored me to remember my password so that she could add me as a friend. In the process of locating her based on my e-mail contacts, I found some of my siblings' pages and, what the heck, added them as well. Since that day only a week or so ago, I have not only gained a number of friends, but I've noticed that many of my friends have just signed up. And THEIR friends have just signed up. It's like everyone I know just discovered facebook this past week. And I'm wondering, is facebook big enough for everyone, or am I part of the beginning of the wave that will push everyone on to the next big networking site?