Sunday, August 22, 2010

Ungratefowl

So you buy some chickens. They're cute little fuzzy things, but they get big quick and you can't have them living in your living room forever, so you build them a fancy coop and a nice, safe, secure run, about 3 times as big as seven chickens actually need, and you put them out there and they seem pretty happy.But after a while, you imagine yourself as a chicken and you think, "Boy, I wouldn't be happy cooped up in that little space, day in and day out."

So you start letting them out occasionally. And it's not too hard to get them back in at night, or when you have to leave to run some errands or something, so you let them out more and more often. Eventually, you're letting them roam free basically any time you're at home. After all, not only is it nice for the chickens, but the more natural food they eat, the better and more healthful their eggs, right? And that's the whole point, right?

Except that now they've decided they like to range in the front yard, where the neighbors can see that they're not confined to their run, and not only that, but they've also decided the gerbera daisies you have planted in front of the house are really tasty.


And mulch is the best thing ever for scratching up and making a mess in.

On top of that, you still have to go to work five days a week, and when you go out in the morning to check the chickens' water and food, they all stand in the corner of the run and moan and groan at you, and pace back and forth in front of the door, and plead with their eyes to be let out to feast on all the yummy grass (and gerbera dasies).

So you put up a fence, from the corner of the garage to the corner of the run, and from the corner of the coop all along the edge of the woods halfway up one side of the yard, and from the house down to the creek on the other, effectively confining them to the backyard (because they never venture far enough back in the yard, or deep enough into the woods to get around that kind of fence). So now they can free range all day long, even when you're not there.


And are the chickens happy? Are they grateful for all your hard work and sweat and all the mosquito bites you got stringing up 150 feet of deer netting? Are they content to be able to range all through the backyard, under the deck, and down by the creek every day, and dust bathe to their hearts' content under their favorite tree?

No, they just want to get into the front yard.