Soo.... were you expecting
YESS!!!! we got it!!!!!
or
BOO HOOOOO, we didn't?
Well, I thought I'd be writing one of those last night, (we didn' get home till 10 o'clock) but what actually happened is they continued our case till the next meeting. For those who haven't heard the story, our next door neighbor has this ridiculous and illogical fear that, if we're allowed to change the buffer in any way, it will make the water in the creek back up into her yard and maybe even her house. It doesn't matter to her that we're not going to disturb the creek, that we are not going to be building in the drainage easement that existed before the houses were sited, that our addition will be at a higher elevation than her house etc. In fact, though she stated in her original letter that if an engineer could assure her that our addition would not impact her, she wouldn't oppose the variance, a letter that I got from the town engineer stating exactly this was dismissed out of hand by her at the meeting.
From the way she stood at the microphone last night and talked and talked and talked, and not one question, comment point, or suggestion made by us, the board, or the town planner made any difference whatsoever to her, we have begun to believe that she's just enjoying being able to meddle in something. If she'd just be slightly reasonable, if she'd just give some hint that she's actually listening to anything anyone says with the mindset that SOMETHING someone says MIGHT POSSIBLY have the ability to change her mind it wouldn't be as frustrating.
Now, in the Board's defense, I don't think that they really think she'll have any trouble with water based on our addition, however, the way the meeting went last night she is definitely what got them going down the path of thinking that no one involved has quite sufficient knowledge of how the creek behaves during a heavy rainstorm or flood, so they've suspended the case until the next meeting (first Thursday of October) so that, during the intervening time, we can find out whatever it is we need to know and come back to the Board with more information. One of the 2 Town Engineers is apparently a stormwater expert, and she, (not the guy I've actually been talking to) recommended in her report that 50 year flood calculations be done in case our addition, located so close to the stream, should be in danger during a significant flood. (notice, not because there's any danger to our neighbor!) So we're supposed to start with a conversation with her about what those calculations mean, if she can/ will do them, if not will she recommend someone who can, how much will THAT cost, etc.
So we'll see. We're going to go back not just with engineering, but with photos of that part of the yard, information on exactly what a rain garden is, how to size one, and a plan for where ours will be (that came up too-- how do they know we'll build the rain garden, and properly?) maybe i'll even do some other pretty presentation type thing (they seem to like that, based on the case before ours)
We are both seriously annoyed at our neighbor now, especially since though it's completely her fault we're in this situation, even if she changed her mind comepletely at this point it wouldn't do any good.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
i was going to post some long-winded rant...
...but I don't feel like it any more. Stay tuned for the outcome of our variance hearing tomorrow night.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Kids and Money
This post was prompted by a facebook discussion (maybe facebook isn’t all bad!) so if you found this via the link on that facebook page and want to post comments, consider posting them both here and there, so as not to steal the discussion away from where it started.
The original question: “What is your children and money philosophy? Do you believe in wages or allowance? How about that first car.. do you buy it for them? What if you were rich.. how much is too much?”
Originally I was for a small allowance, probably called a wage, since it would be docked if chores weren’t completed on time. (But the chores would still have to be done, regardless) I also might allow kids to complete extra chores to earn more money if they wanted, provided they hadn’t slacked on their regular chores. But someone pointed out that they wouldn’t want their kid asking them how much they’d get paid every time they asked them to do an extra job, and I think that’s a great point. Now I don’t think I’d want to give any option of earning extra money for extra chores. Kids need to do what they’re told and to understand that as part of the family they have responsibilities. The same person suggested that in their experience allowances “don’t work” -- that parents don’t follow through, that kids don’t do their chores, but still expect money, etc. She doesn’t think parents should give their kids any money at all.. that kids should earn their all their money outside the home, just as they’ll have to later in life.
I agree that once kids are old enough to get a job outside the home, whether it’s a “real” job or babysitting/ mowing lawns, they should work for money if they want it. A nominal allowance given to a small child should not grow to meet the wants of a pre-teen/ teenager. But the opposing viewpoint focuses mainly on younger kids. Little kids really can’t mow lawns or baby-sit or any of the standard kid jobs, and that the neighbors shouldn’t be bombarded by kids knocking on the door looking for work every time they want money for something. And some of the people commenting on the original discussion focused on the goal of using an allowance to teach their children to tithe, budget and save. I think that’s a nice idea, but I wonder how realistic it is.
Here’s the thing - little kids don’t need money.
There just aren’t enough demands on a kid’s bank account for the concept of budgeting to sink in. A kid can save up for something he/ she wants, (I remember saving forever for a Nintendo) but when the weekly income doesn’t HAVE to pay the electric bill and the mortgage and the car insurance and buy groceries, it’s just a whole different mindset. I think you can teach a kid the theory with or without real money but they’re never going to really understand it, deep down in their gut, until they actually have a car that needs gas, and probably an apartment and bills to boot, and it becomes a lesson in being able to eat, rather than a choice between instant and delayed gratification.
I think that in the area of money management, as in most other areas of life, kids are probably going to get more out of how they see their parents behaving than out of what they hear their parents telling them.
I think that if parents manage their money well and carefully, if kids are allowed to see that their parents have a budget and are conscious of the cost of things, and that they don’t make impulsive purchases; if they can see their parents tithing, and they are aware that a certain amount of each paycheck goes into a savings account, etc. then that leading by example will be far more effective than all the “teaching” parents may do by giving the kids their own money.
I personally got an allowance (it was actually referred to as “wages”) only for a few short periods during my childhood. Most of my life I was not given a regular income by my parents. But I did watch how my mother handled the money/ budget and it had a lasting impression. I never had a budget as a kid, yet I am (if I do say so myself) a very good budgeter and saver now that I’m an adult. I don’t think that having a small allowance as a child would have hurt me in this regard, and I also doubt that I would be a better financial manager today if I’d had one. I think as long as parents are careful not to spoil their kids and to be consistent, it probably doesn’t matter whether they give their kids an allowance or not.
Cars will be tackled in another post. If you actually got through tis one, congratulations, I’m impressed.
The original question: “What is your children and money philosophy? Do you believe in wages or allowance? How about that first car.. do you buy it for them? What if you were rich.. how much is too much?”
Originally I was for a small allowance, probably called a wage, since it would be docked if chores weren’t completed on time. (But the chores would still have to be done, regardless) I also might allow kids to complete extra chores to earn more money if they wanted, provided they hadn’t slacked on their regular chores. But someone pointed out that they wouldn’t want their kid asking them how much they’d get paid every time they asked them to do an extra job, and I think that’s a great point. Now I don’t think I’d want to give any option of earning extra money for extra chores. Kids need to do what they’re told and to understand that as part of the family they have responsibilities. The same person suggested that in their experience allowances “don’t work” -- that parents don’t follow through, that kids don’t do their chores, but still expect money, etc. She doesn’t think parents should give their kids any money at all.. that kids should earn their all their money outside the home, just as they’ll have to later in life.
I agree that once kids are old enough to get a job outside the home, whether it’s a “real” job or babysitting/ mowing lawns, they should work for money if they want it. A nominal allowance given to a small child should not grow to meet the wants of a pre-teen/ teenager. But the opposing viewpoint focuses mainly on younger kids. Little kids really can’t mow lawns or baby-sit or any of the standard kid jobs, and that the neighbors shouldn’t be bombarded by kids knocking on the door looking for work every time they want money for something. And some of the people commenting on the original discussion focused on the goal of using an allowance to teach their children to tithe, budget and save. I think that’s a nice idea, but I wonder how realistic it is.
Here’s the thing - little kids don’t need money.
There just aren’t enough demands on a kid’s bank account for the concept of budgeting to sink in. A kid can save up for something he/ she wants, (I remember saving forever for a Nintendo) but when the weekly income doesn’t HAVE to pay the electric bill and the mortgage and the car insurance and buy groceries, it’s just a whole different mindset. I think you can teach a kid the theory with or without real money but they’re never going to really understand it, deep down in their gut, until they actually have a car that needs gas, and probably an apartment and bills to boot, and it becomes a lesson in being able to eat, rather than a choice between instant and delayed gratification.
I think that in the area of money management, as in most other areas of life, kids are probably going to get more out of how they see their parents behaving than out of what they hear their parents telling them.
I think that if parents manage their money well and carefully, if kids are allowed to see that their parents have a budget and are conscious of the cost of things, and that they don’t make impulsive purchases; if they can see their parents tithing, and they are aware that a certain amount of each paycheck goes into a savings account, etc. then that leading by example will be far more effective than all the “teaching” parents may do by giving the kids their own money.
I personally got an allowance (it was actually referred to as “wages”) only for a few short periods during my childhood. Most of my life I was not given a regular income by my parents. But I did watch how my mother handled the money/ budget and it had a lasting impression. I never had a budget as a kid, yet I am (if I do say so myself) a very good budgeter and saver now that I’m an adult. I don’t think that having a small allowance as a child would have hurt me in this regard, and I also doubt that I would be a better financial manager today if I’d had one. I think as long as parents are careful not to spoil their kids and to be consistent, it probably doesn’t matter whether they give their kids an allowance or not.
Cars will be tackled in another post. If you actually got through tis one, congratulations, I’m impressed.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Butterfly
We have these really pretty butterflies in our backyard, and they're not afraid of people at all. There was one on the deck this morning and he let me walk right up to him... he appeared to be eating (or trying to eat) some of the sap or juice out of the bits of hickory nuts that the squirrels are constantly dropping on the deck. Very interesting, I thought they only ate from flowers.
I just looked this guy up, he's an "Astyanax" Red-Spotted Purple:
I just looked this guy up, he's an "Astyanax" Red-Spotted Purple:
Hard worker
Jeff spent another long day working outside in the heat. At least it cooled down a little and was only 95 this weekend :-P (compared to 102 on Wednesday and 104 both Thursday and Friday)
He chipped all the brush piles that he cut down about 2 months ago. Unfortunately 2 months in the North Carolina sun is enough to really dry out 3" and smaller branches so they took quite a bit longer to chip than if they'd been fresh.
The pile of chips in the picture is the second one that size, the first one is a bout 20' closer to the house... anybody want some free mulch?
He chipped all the brush piles that he cut down about 2 months ago. Unfortunately 2 months in the North Carolina sun is enough to really dry out 3" and smaller branches so they took quite a bit longer to chip than if they'd been fresh.
The pile of chips in the picture is the second one that size, the first one is a bout 20' closer to the house... anybody want some free mulch?
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Screens!
Woo-Hooo!!! my wonderful husband worked outside all day today in the 95 degree weather and we have SCREENS on the porch! ALL of them! Yay!! The doors (which were fitted last weekend) will go on tomorrow. I'm not taking pictures till it's all done, but expect them soon.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
My Thoughts on Myspace
First there was xanga. Actually, there was probably something before xanga, but xanga was my first encounter with one of these monster websites where people can combine blogging, text messaging, and photo hosting along with a collection of links between themselves and all of their friends who are doing the same thing.
I never had a xanga, but at least one of my sisters, and quite a few other people within a few years of her age had them, and I had some fun occasionally looking through the comments they posted to each other, looking at pictures they uploaded, reading their blog entries. Then something interesting happened. Some of these kids' parents started having xanga sites. And the kids themselves were posting less and less. I realized that most of them had started something called myspaces, and were abandoning xanga for the newer and less populated network.
I have a myspace. I don't really use it. If I want to write something for more than one person to read I put it here, and for personal conversations I have e-mail, Instant messenger, and a cell phone. Who needs myspace? But it lets me look at my siblings' myspaces, and my cousins' myspaces (although sometimes that's just depressing) and if someone sends me a message there, I can read it and will usually reply. Lately it seems like everyone has a myspace, including, most recently, many of the parents of the kids who've had them for a while.
Recently I've noticed a serious downturn in Myspace activity. In fact, among the younger myspacers- the same ones who used to have xangas- that decrease in activity happened some time ago, probably a year or more, but lately it's become widespread. I knew many people were going to facebook-- from those in the know about this sort of thing, "facebook is better" is something I had heard more than once. But now practically nobody writes on their myspace anymore, and this turn of events has gone hand in hand with another one:
I also have a facebook. I actually started in a few months ago, when I was bored, and for the sole purpose of "poking" my uncle, who I had discovered also had a facebook. I didn't add any friends at the time, and after that initial "poke" I never went back until the other day. A friend of mine was invited to join by her cousin, and implored me to remember my password so that she could add me as a friend. In the process of locating her based on my e-mail contacts, I found some of my siblings' pages and, what the heck, added them as well. Since that day only a week or so ago, I have not only gained a number of friends, but I've noticed that many of my friends have just signed up. And THEIR friends have just signed up. It's like everyone I know just discovered facebook this past week. And I'm wondering, is facebook big enough for everyone, or am I part of the beginning of the wave that will push everyone on to the next big networking site?
I never had a xanga, but at least one of my sisters, and quite a few other people within a few years of her age had them, and I had some fun occasionally looking through the comments they posted to each other, looking at pictures they uploaded, reading their blog entries. Then something interesting happened. Some of these kids' parents started having xanga sites. And the kids themselves were posting less and less. I realized that most of them had started something called myspaces, and were abandoning xanga for the newer and less populated network.
I have a myspace. I don't really use it. If I want to write something for more than one person to read I put it here, and for personal conversations I have e-mail, Instant messenger, and a cell phone. Who needs myspace? But it lets me look at my siblings' myspaces, and my cousins' myspaces (although sometimes that's just depressing) and if someone sends me a message there, I can read it and will usually reply. Lately it seems like everyone has a myspace, including, most recently, many of the parents of the kids who've had them for a while.
Recently I've noticed a serious downturn in Myspace activity. In fact, among the younger myspacers- the same ones who used to have xangas- that decrease in activity happened some time ago, probably a year or more, but lately it's become widespread. I knew many people were going to facebook-- from those in the know about this sort of thing, "facebook is better" is something I had heard more than once. But now practically nobody writes on their myspace anymore, and this turn of events has gone hand in hand with another one:
I also have a facebook. I actually started in a few months ago, when I was bored, and for the sole purpose of "poking" my uncle, who I had discovered also had a facebook. I didn't add any friends at the time, and after that initial "poke" I never went back until the other day. A friend of mine was invited to join by her cousin, and implored me to remember my password so that she could add me as a friend. In the process of locating her based on my e-mail contacts, I found some of my siblings' pages and, what the heck, added them as well. Since that day only a week or so ago, I have not only gained a number of friends, but I've noticed that many of my friends have just signed up. And THEIR friends have just signed up. It's like everyone I know just discovered facebook this past week. And I'm wondering, is facebook big enough for everyone, or am I part of the beginning of the wave that will push everyone on to the next big networking site?
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